PUT YOUR STUPID ASS AD HERE! PAY US TO BE SEEN!...YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.

HOME
VIDEOS
BLOGS
MUSIC
TEAM
FAQ
GUESTBOOK
CONTACT

STORE
HELP!
ADVERTISE
Filter by APML
FeedSubscribe

The other day my credit card company sent me a new card.

by Paul Jun 30, 2008 10:48
This wasn't a solicitation for a card I didn't have, but a new "version" of a card I already possessed.

Normally this is to be expected every so often. What struck me as odd however, was the fact that when I looked at the information on the card, it looked identical to what I had already.

I whipped out (that's right!)... my old credit card. Sorry ladies. I checked it out... and sure enough, every bit of information on it was exactly the same; right down to the expiration date (isn't that why I'm supposed to get a new card?).

Oh wait I left something out. My existing card is friggin' cool and all black. Plus it has my initials "PS" in a big ass monogram across the background.

The new card is AN AMERICAN FLAG!!! Hang on...

AN AMERICAN FLAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Needless to say I called the "activation" phone number to discuss my displeasure. What follows is exactly the way I remember the conversation... which I'm pretty sure makes it admissible in court. I may or may not have changed the kind of credit card to protect my identity from theft and/or to amuse myself.

DiscoverCardKid: Thanks for calling Discover Card. For security purposes may I have the last 4 digits of your social security number?

Paul: Oh you mean the one I just punched into your automated system?

DiCK: Yes.

Paul: Why does it ask me to punch it in if you're just going to ask me for it? Can't you just read it off your screen?

DiCK: Um, ok. Can I have the full name of the card holder?

Paul: Absolutely. Paul Sobel. But I'd prefer if you called me by my Christian name, "Skittles."

DiCK: Ok Skittles. What can I do for you today?

Paul: Well basically I got a new card in the mail from you guys today, and I want to know if i can throw it directly in my trash.

DiCK: Ok well... we'd prefer if you didn't.

Paul: I'll bet. Anyway, it's the exact same card as I had previously, except you know... it's a big ass flag.

DiCK: Oh so you like the old card better?

Paul: Shit yeah son. Do you realize my old card is awesome, all black, and has my initials as a monogram across the background?

DiCK: Yes, I see that card here.

Paul: Great. See, nobody is PS except me (and other people who are PS). But this new card has a big ass American flag on it. Do you know how many people are American? Exactly. All of them.

DiCK: Well Paul...

Paul: Skittles.

DiCK: Sorry, Skittles. We send out new cards periodically to account for wear and tear. If you would like, I can send you a new card with your previous appearance. How is that?

Paul: That would be great. Because think about it... what if I don't even like America?

Editor's note: It was at this point I believe I may have forced him to deviate from his script.

DiCK: Um... you... don't like America?

Paul: What? How dare you. I love this country. But have you watched the news lately? We're not exactly popular. I don't want to whip this card out in Europe and get shot on general principle.

DiCK: Right.... right. Ok Skittles. I have you all set up, and we'll be sending that card out for you. You should receive it in two to three business days. Is there anything else I can do for you today?

Paul: Super duper. I think you've done plenty. Have a great day!

So with that being said... I accomplished my mission of... things. I think I'll pause now for you to applaud my efforts and tenacity.

And..... GO!
Oh by the way... Three business days later I got my new card in the mail. It had the American flag on it. Good night!

Tags: ,

 


HOME | VIDEOS | BLOGS | MUSIC | TEAM | FAQ | GUESTBOOK | CONTACT | Log in


PUT YOUR STUPID ASS AD HERE! PAY US TO BE SEEN!...YOU KNOW YOU WANT IT.