by Paul
Apr 11, 2005 09:47
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I've been working a second job (at least that's what I tell myself) at a skating rink for like 104 years. After reviewing that sentence, I'm pretty sure it's accurate, except for maybe grammar.
Over that time period, I've heard people come in and say things like "DAMN! It smells like feet in here!", or "It smells like feet in here, DAMN!"
First, I kinda take offense to that, because it's my rink, and it means more than nothing to me. Then I think, you know what, I can't even smell feet anymore. That's awesome! Just imagine what it would be like if I couldn't smell shit. I'd be so much happier in life.
Then I thought, there's absolutely no downside to not being able to smell feet, and that I am officially super human, because of my inability to be affected by the stench of feet.
Unless...
I burst my own bubble when I realized if for some reason the terrorists drop a chemical bomb that's extra deadly, and the warning is a foot odor, I'm a dead man. I'd be walking down the street laughing at all you suckers who can smell feet, until you all freak out and run for cover indoors. I'll be left smelling my armpits, wondering if it's me that caused the comotion. Smelling my armpits for all of 3 seconds before I keel over stone dead, because I couldn't smell the foot bomb dropped by Al Qaeda.
Today's smell is: Dr. Scholl's Bunion Fun |
| Damn you and your foot bomb Bin Laden! |