by Paul
Nov 29, 2005 10:15
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Exceptionally abled placards that denote to other people that I'm so far away from disabled, that they had to give me a yellow sticker for my car's license plate. Instead of the wheel chair logo, mine has the outline of a head, with a halo above it.
I went with yellow because it's one of those "energy" colors so it denotes that I get up with the get down. Which is not entirely true, because I can't get up in the morning at all. Although I have no problem getting "it" up (am I right guys?!...wait I mean ladies?!... no not you, the hot ones.). I guess it's all about movitation and lack thereof. Either way, McDonalds uses reds and yellows to get you motivated to get the fuck out of their building by combining those "energy" colors with your deep seeded attention deficit disorder. If it works for Ronald, it can work for me.
Also, I want parking spaces that only a person with my placard can use. And not just regular parking like the disabled spaces which everyone abuses. My super parking spaces are going to have those tire spikes that they have in parking garages so that you can only go one way across them. That way when some fat fucks pull up in their 1983 Buick Roadmaster--while their kids the Michelin Man, the Pilsbury Doughboy, and the Stay-Puffed Marshmellow Man from Ghostbusters all sing "We scream for ice cream!" pile out of the wagon--and then shred their $25 Costco tires on the way out. Optionally, Fats McButterthighs can call the tow truck. When that guy gets there he won't be able to help them out because they don't have the halo. The only halos they have are the sweat mark halos forming around the neck of their shirt in the middle of the Green Bay winter. |
| I think I got a bit off track there, but instead of fixing it, let's just agree that I'm right. |