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What up suckas...

by Paul Mar 3, 2008 10:43
That's a rhetorical question folks, I can't hear your responses. I apologize for the frequent and lengthy sabbaticals taken by yours truly on a blog that only I am qualified to write. I say this of course because nobody else would want to write my blog, due to any number of reasons. I say "any number" because that number is probably... one. I'd say more, but let's not lose focus here.

Anyway.

Despite any rumors you may have heard. I am not a funny person. Everyone else is funny (read: retarded). I'm just cynical enough to watch them and point out their flaws as they happen. It's kind of like how everything looks cooler in slow-motion. Only for me, everything is funny as long as you point it out at the right moment. Preferably, when the victim person is feeling as awkward as possible as a result of their actions.

Example:

A girl falls down a flight of stairs. I say "Watch out for those steps!!!" Aaaaaannnd. SCENE!

Nice Paul. I'll be in my trailer.

I sort of lost my train of thought. Luckily I found this article. Where do I start?

How about that headline? Soap fans: We want more of gay story. Haha. Yeah, me too. I love me some gay stories. You know what the last gay story was that I wanted more of? Sanjaya on last year's American Idol. Oh and I don't mean because he was a frail fruit cake of an individual either. I don't need to tell this audience about how our generation throws the term "gay" around to describe any miniscule, slightly less than good situation. Nor am I asking the media at large to mimic our borderline special-ed day to day diction. Let's be realistic here young people. If like, aliens are like, listening to our like, casual conversations (which would be totally gay of them by the way), they would totally like, think our like, pets are in charge in this piece.

So no, I'm not saying the news should be covered by one of our genuinely english-deficient peers. What I'm saying is maybe when you write a headline, you should think about the different ways it might get interpreted. I'm a perfect example. When the headline "Soap fans: We want more of gay story" showed up in my inbox, my reaction was "Oh man! I don't care what this story is about I have to see what possessed a CNN writer to write that." I'd capitalize CNN to stress that somehow that indicates a writer who works for them should be intelligent, but it turns out it's already capitalized; so, in my face.

...

Haha.

....

Sorry I had to read it again and laugh. It actually gets better if you can believe it though. The article goes on to quote a GUY who started the campaign. I'm assuming the dude is gay. However I'm not knocking that. I'm only pointing out that an article about an on-screen gay couple might entice the news agency to pay particular attention to any way the editorial could be misconstrued. But hey, what do I know, right? Exactly.

Since I have ADD and I'm currently counting the popcorn on my ceiling, let me leave you with the following. The guy who started the campaign for this thing, works as a "Computer Worker." Now, I've been working in computer engineering in various capacities for about ten years now. I have learned a couple of things. One is that I've never once met a "computer worker" in my life. The other fact is that I work say... 50-60 hours a week, and that's not really considered a long week in this industry. So how this guy has time to be a computer worker, and make it home by 2pm to watch soaps is beyond me; but I want his job.
Oh yeah... how funny and redundant is it to say "Soap fans: We want more of gay story." It's a soap opera guys... ALL the stories are gay.

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