by Paul
Mar 18, 2005 09:43
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because I'm on my period, and it lasts all month. No but seriously, am I the only person who hates the month of May? I realize it's March, but let me explain before you close this browser window to go waste your next 50 hours playing Yahoo! Pool. The month of March and May, both start with "ma" and I get confused. Not so much while we're betwixt said months, but when planning in advance, I have severe problems differentiating.
If I was to tell you in September "Hey Ugly...", by the way Ugly is just a pet name I have for you. Don't take it personally, I don't mean any insult. Your mother and I were joking about it one time, but I digress. So if I says to you, I says... "Hey Ugly, we're going to the fat ass convention in May." You'd be like "FAT-TASTIC!". I'd point out that you're not funny, and you'd probably cry. Still, that's besides the point. The point is when March comes around, you'd be getting all excited, with your little fat dance talking about "We're going to Fat Camp!" and doing a little mashed-potato dance. But, you're wrong. It's in May, not March. Guess what? You have to wait TWO WHOLE MONTHS to go. That sucks, am I right?
Logically, you'd expect to have the same problem with June and July. As I expected though, you're wrong. See, June and July come one right after the other. So if I promised to take you ice cream tasting in July, and June hits, and you're doing your dance again, and tightening up the strap on your fanny pack, I'd say, "Hey there Tons-of-Fun, it's June. Ice cream is next month." You'd be all butt hurt. But hurt, would not last long. (See how I did that little play on the words but and hurt there? Thanks. I liked it too.) Because realistically, July is only a couple weeks away from June. There's no reason to get your panties in a bunch. When that happens in March though, May is so far away you might as well write what you want to do in your will or living trust, and hope your grandkids get to it someday in their lifetime.
I am listening to: Great rapping by Lil John. |
| Fuck you May. You ruined April for me too. |