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So the other day I'm reading...

by Paul Jul 25, 2005 10:01
Yes I can read. Asshole. Anyway, some tee ball coach in Pennsylvania paid one of his players to nail another retarded player in the head with a ball. A ball that I assume was a tee ball. I assume this, because he is a tee ball coach. I used deductive reasoning. However, that's not the point. The point is the rules state all the kids have to play at least three innings or some mess like that. So the coach thought, if the retard kid is on the injured reserve, he can't play, and my team will have a better chance of winning.

Brilliant! Except, I've seen tee ball games before. One team scores a million points while the other team's outfield is chasing butterflies around and throwing piles of dirt at each other. Then after one fat kid tries to swing and misses five times in a row, the coaches go "ALRIGHT! That's it everyone, it's a TIE!" All the kids cheer, and somebody's mom hands out Capri Suns. That's what the kids are there for anyway, the Capri Suns.

Meanwhile somebody's dad is taking a walk to "cool off" because he can't believe his seven year old daughter only made it to second base on that grounder she hit. Let's ignore the fact that he's 5'8", weighs a cool 240 pounds, and can't run outside fast enough to catch the ice cream truck, let alone his own seven year old daughter.

If you're that guy, shut the fuck up. Get on a treadmill while you're at it you fat sack of shit. Oh, and stop bringing Capri Suns for the kids when it's your day to cater the after-game snack. Everyone knows those things are full of sugar. It's bad enough you're a fat ass, but now all the high class white parents are going to know you're a bad parent because you brought sugar drinks instead of some nutritious orange juice. Then you distributed the liquid in styrofoam cups. The nerve. The unmitigated gall. First you yell at your daughter, who can run faster than you. Then you serve sugar drinks. Now you're depleting the ozone layer. Way to go dad. Hey, quick! Jump in your huge ass Ford Excursion and maybe run over a few trees on the way home, and a minority orphan. That should close the loop of destruction.

Dick.
Hey incidentally, what happened to the days when if you didn't play, it meant you sucked. Not that you got hit in the head with a baseball because the coach paid another player. You know coach, you're just leading him on. Tell him he sucks now so he can cry and get over it, and maybe try a different sport.

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