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Generally speaking, I'm a pretty nice guy.

by Paul Aug 11, 2005 10:03

Unfortunately the rest of the world insists on being selfish, and/or lazy so I end up picking up the slack. The rest of the world lacks the gumption necessary. The rest of the world lacks the dedication necessary. The rest of the world, lacks the LOVE, necessary to tell other people they're fucking up. So guess who comes to the rescue? That's right, everyone's idol, Paul. Paul comes to the rescue, picking up the world's slack, and guess what? Now *I'm* the bad guy.

Remember when you were kids, and your friend Bertha played Barbies with you? Yeah. That was great. Then remember in about... 5th grade when Bertha started packing on a few extra pounds? Remember when you said, "Hey Bertha, I think you should maybe watch your weight a bit." Oh, you don't remember that? Oh wait! That's because you never said it! 15 years, and 150 pounds later, guess who has to say something to her? That's right, me. And now I'm the bad guy. What's the deal here? You were her best friend. You should have told her. You're supposed to care. You love her don't you?

Remember when your boy Bob started dating that girl Matilda? Yeah, the one who looks like somebody lit her face on fire, and put it out with a sledgehammer? Yeah her. It was a good thing you told Bob not to date her. Oh wait, you didn't! Now they're married, and just because I suggested Bob maybe possibly might have been able to do a little bit better, I'm the bad guy. What's the deal here?

Remember that girl who wore a little bit too much makeup? Just because I said "You know those sponges you use with astringent to remove makeup? Well, your sponge is the same one i use to wash my car.", I'm the bad guy.

Am I to blame for this? No. The blame rests squarely on the shoulders of the people who are supposed to be close; the people who are supposed to care. If I'm at fault for anything here, it's that I love too much. That's right, I have an enlarged heart. I care enough about everyone to point out various ways they can improve themselves.

If that's a crime my friends, well then give me the lethal injection.

Today's Free Giveaway is: Diets for everyone!
It was pointed out to me that an enlarged heart is a serious medical condition I should have checked out. I'll make an appointment right after i talk to this woman about her White Woman Ass Syndrome.

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