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Pardon my French but...

by Paul Nov 19, 2007 10:42

I fucking hate the media. Primarily the news outlets.

Not the least of my reasons is the fact that most "news" these days is recycled from Reuters or the Associated Press. You can check newspapers in New York, Houston, Los Angeles, San Francisco, and Bumfuck Tennessee.

They're ALL carrying the same stories. Take a look at some of these outlets who show you when the story was first run, and when it was updated. Bet it was updated within a few hours. Then again the next day.

Why? Well because they're in such a rush to be first to get news that nobody cares about, they make all kinds of mistakes in the process. Nevermind the fact that none of these "reporters" can write a complete sentence to begin with. I can't tell you the number of times I've read a sentence like eight times only to go "Oohhhhh... wait. What? So did the zoo-keeper say that; or can the monkey talk?"

The other reason is that they're all pandering to stupid MTV related news. MTV--I'm more and more convinced--is the bane of American culture; but that's a topic that I could write a novel about; not a blog entry.

Exhibit A: Kanye Wests' Moms' Surgeons' Arrest Warrant.

Did you know this guy was news? Me neither. Read the article, and then come back.

Did you close it? Open it up again. Let's review.

First of all, after you get into this really deep read (all four paragraphs). No wait.. sentences. No wait... hey can one sentence be a paragraph? Sure. Every single time? Eh, probably not.

So what have we learned? Well... this guy who you didn't know before Kanye's mom died, had an arrest warrant. Because he killed Kanye's mom right? Wrong! They just put her name in there because... well let me know if you figure out why.

So anyway... he gets arrested. No wait... no he doesn't. Ok so there's a warrant out for his arrest. No. Wrong again. There WAS a warrant out, for maybe an hour. Before it was promptly cancelled because he showed up in court (but not for Kanye's mom, for something else entirely). Let's really make it POP though, by completely misleading people and putting her name in the title of the article. Then let's take a half day and high-five ourselves on the way to the Starbucks. Douche bags.

So once again, the Associated Press has informed us of... basically nothing. There was news... but then the news got cancelled. So screw it, let's run the story about how there is nothing to talk about.
Hey, nobody's dying of AIDS in Africa or anything like that right?

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