by Paul
Mar 22, 2006 10:24
but why for come does everybody have to have an SUV these days? I drive a really small car because other parts of me are more than enough to compensate. Yeah, I mean THAT. Moving on. Some people own trailers, campers, or boats. However, that doesn't mean you need an SUV, that means you need a truck. Nobody needs both a lot of passenger space AND the ability to pull shit. If you have a huge family, then you can't afford a boat to begin with. Nobody buys today's SUV for camping and cool shit like that. They buy them with leather seats, and big ass rims that will pop a tire if you even turn too sharply, let alone go offroading.
Oh the brand new Nissan Armada comes optionally equipped to seat eight! What is it, a school bus? So what. You want to seat 8 people, then you need this car. Yes friends, the Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon is the king of real SUVs. You want sport? Look no further than the premium wood paneling. You want utility? It's got a tailgate that folds down AND to the side; lady's choice. You want vehicle? Well, it's a vehicle. I'm pretty sure it gets sideways at every corner, and you can sleep good knowing you're breaking necks as people turn to look at your ride when you pass by.
The Buick Roadmaster Estate Wagon (heretofore referred to as the BREW) satisfies all your needs. The 3rd row seating is not optional folks, it's dead standard. As are the premium vinyl seats that allow for easy cleanup for all that everything you're going to be hauling. The 3rd row seat also faces backwards to keep you segregated from your annoying ass kids on that road trip. A built in DVD entertainment system? What for? The kids face backwards out of a widescreen rear window like it's fucking IMAX in there. If they want to watch a movie, they can watch the DVD of Real Life: Part 3, out the back of the BREW.Why Buick discontinued this precision machine is beyond me.