by Paul
Jun 30, 2005 09:58
I say that because they carry around Nextel phones. I thought Nextels were for fat guys in hard hats, who have half their ass hanging out of their pants. Why else would you need a phone that heavy, and shaped like a brick right? You want it to tug your trousers down a hair.
I understand these Nextels function as phones too. What a novel concept. It flips open and everything most of the time. But why use a nice phone when you can use it as an obnoxious walkie talkie to put all your business in the street?
Oh and by the way, walkie talkies? What are you an Army Ranger? I had walkie talkies when i was 8 years old.
Despite the fact that I would think people who HAVE Nextels would understand the repercussions of how they workd, the reality seems quite the opposite. Nextel users will boop boop (which is what the walkie talkie feature is called) their most private information for everyone standing around the recipent to hear.
Roger: BOOP! Dan where are you?
Dan: BOOP! I just got robbed. I'm butt naked on 3rd street!
Roger: BOOP! Say that again Dan, I have a nextel and I didn't get what you said.
Dan: BOOP! What Roger? I couldn't hear you, I have a nextel!
Roger: BOOP! What?!
Dan: BOOP! I said, get in your BOOP! car and come BOOP! get me! Bring a BOOP! trousers too!
Roger: BOOP! Why? What's wrong?
Dan: BOOP! I'm assed out on 3rd Street!
Roger: BOOP! HOLY SHIT DAN! Well, just to be safe give me your social security number so I can come get you!
Dan: BOOP! Ok Roger, it's 555-123-1234 for you and the other 100 people standing around you in church who can hear this conversation on your extra stupid ridiculously loud Nextel speaker phone!
Oh but it doesn't stop there. Nextels also have something called an Alert, which basically sends their phone a beep, and it beeps at them repeatedly, so they know you booped them. Then they boop you back when they're available to boop back and forth. Are you kidding me? How about leaving a fucking voice mail. $75 a month so you can speak to your friends in morse mother fucking code? Shit, sign me up!
Today's mood was supposed to be reported to me from the field, but the call was dropped. |
| Oh yeah, and with all those great features, Nextel still provides the worst coverage I've ever witnessed. |